


i just want you to know who i am

by hannahsviolets



Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: M/M, this is short af sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-05
Updated: 2015-03-05
Packaged: 2018-03-16 10:13:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3484427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannahsviolets/pseuds/hannahsviolets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>short one shot about connor and jude's sleepover in 2x18</p>
            </blockquote>





	i just want you to know who i am

They sleep in the same bed but don’t say anything about it. They never say anything about the things they do together. Jude doesn’t go to sleep for a while. He just lays there, staring at Connor’s back, wondering if his friend is still awake. They’d said good night and then Connor had turned over and neither had said a word since. Jude wanted to though, he wanted to so bad. He wanted to stay up all night and talk about everything that had been going on between them. He wanted to hear how Connor really felt about Daria, and whether or not he liked kissing her. Why he’d kissed him in the tent that night and why he’d chosen to hold his hand and not Daria’s. He also kind of wanted to tell Connor that he might like him as more than a friend. Jude also sort of wanted to tell Connor that he thought he was really great - super talented, a great athlete (even if he didn’t feel the same) and really handsome. Then maybe after he told him all that they could snuggle up together real close and go to sleep like that. Jude doesn’t think he can imagine anything better than that.

Connor is still awake too. He can’t stop thinking about kissing Jude right now. All he wants to do is roll over and start kissing him, and not in a sexual sort of way like he does with Daria. In a romantic sort of way. Where he can wrap one arm around Jude’s shoulder and pull him in close and they just kiss for a few minutes. He’s been trying to find an opportunity to do it since the last time that they kissed. It seemed so long ago that they’d been in that tent. Connor got a bad feeling in his stomach like maybe he should be thinking about Daria in that way. He can’t. As much as he knows he should want to make out with his hot girlfriend, he doesn’t want to. And although Daria makes him feel more masculine, like the type of guy his father wants him to be; he doesn’t feel the way about her that he feels about Jude. He knows that. But he’s so afraid to admit it, like if he does, things will get even harder then they’ve already been. But in moments like this, he can’t bring himself to care.

He turns over to face Jude and sees that he’s still wide awake. He looks surprised that Connor’s still awake, that he’s facing him. “Hey,” he whispers.

"Hey," Jude answers quietly.

Looking Jude in the eye instantly made Connor nervous, all the confidence he’d had was instantly gone. But it would be too uncomfortable if he just lay there without saying anything. Awkward. “Um … can’t sleep?”

Jude shook his head. He noticed that Connor looked somewhat scared, which Jude was used to, but Connor had no reason to be scared. It was just the two of them. “No,”

Connor nodded. “Yeah, me neither,” He doesn’t know what else to say. He wants to ask if they can kiss but he’s scared that Jude’ll say know. That he’ll tell him to go kiss Daria or something. Something else slips out of his mouth instead, “Is Taylor your girlfriend?”

It makes it look like he’d been lying in bed thinking about that one thing even though it hadn’t. It was just the first thing he’d thought of asking. Jude doesn’t look taken aback or anything, he just answers. “No. I mean - I like her, but not like that.”

The look of relief on Connor’s face is incredibly obvious but Jude doesn’t comment on it. He wants to say something about Daria and how Connor shouldn’t care if he has a girlfriend because he has one of his own. But he doesn’t. It’s really peaceful. Peace is something that Jude hadn’t felt in a long time. 

"Well, um, do you like anyone like that?" 

Jude bites his lip at the question. Of course he does. Connor has to know that. He’s not gonna say flat out “you’re the one I like.” Instead, he just says, “Yeah. There is someone.”

Connor smiles at that. He looks so happy, happier then Jude has seen him in a while. As annoyed as he is with Connor, Jude still understands that he has a lot of confusion and hurt and anger going on in his life right now. And it’s sweet that he’s the one making him smile as big as he is right now. “They must be pretty cool then,” he jokes.

"Oh, the coolest," Jude responds, smiling back. 

They don’t say anything about who Connor likes, because they both know that it’ll turn into an argument about Daria. And Jude feels bad about Daria, because she’s sweet and funny and nice and she doesn’t deserve to have Connor play with her like he is. 

There’s some more silence and then Connor puts a hand on top of Jude’s. Jude looks down at their hands and then back at Connor and they grin at each other again. Now that they’re close, like this, they can totally relax. The pair of them are asleep within minutes.


End file.
